As much as our little weather blog loves its weather, not every post needs to relate to the theme of our community. Today, we are pleased to provide deep scientific insight on America’s favorite statistical anomaly: The Doink.
2016, already considered an outlier year in terms of strangeness, has been exceptionally tough on American Football kickers. NFL kickers are still adjusting to the new extra point rule, and college kickers are still, well, #collegekickers. As a result, PAT and field goal attempts are bouncing off the uprights and crossbar at a purely anecdotal rate that is seemingly unprecedented.
AtmoLife’s in depth analysis confirms that on average, X% of PAT and field goal attempts doink the goalpost, while in 2016, Y% of kicks have resulted in doinks, with Y conceivably much greater than X, thus rendering 2016 as the Year of the Doink.
In addition to the doinking occurrence rate, Year of the Doink is characterized by significant doink events that directly influence the game’s outcome and enhance the football watchability. Let’s examine some case studies below.
9/3/16 – Mississippi State vs. South Alabama
In college football’s opening week, the MSU kicker struck iron to hand South Alabama the first major upset victory of 2016, clearly an indicator that doinkage would play a critical role this season.
“OH NOOOOO” pic.twitter.com/Y7cqMYB554
— Deadspin (@Deadspin) September 3, 2016
9/24/16 – Washington at Arizona
The season continued with more doinks of varying consequence at both the collegiate and professional levels, but Year of the Doink truly gained traction when this weird phenomenon manifested itself in the weirdest corner of football, Pac-12 After Dark.
10/1/16 – South Carolina vs. Texas A&M
I GOT TO WITNESS YEAR OF THE DOINK IN PERSON. I, along with my fellow Aggies, take personal responsibility for this doink. In hostile territory, the yelling from our small visitors section (left of the uprights) perturbed the air molecules, along with the airborne football, in a left-to-right direction causing the ball to strike the right upright.
I can’t find a video of this, so you’ll have to take my word for it.
I JUST SAW #YEAROFTHEDOINK IN PERSON
— Prescott (@prescottb) October 1, 2016
10/6/16 – Louisiana Tech vs. Western Kentucky
Sometimes a doinked field goal can still be good. Louisiana Tech’s kicker managed to doink in a FIFTY-FOUR YARDER.
10/15/16 – Stanford at Notre Dame
This doink from Stanford’s kicker managed to hit THE TOP OF THE UPRIGHT.
— Notre Dame on NBC (@NDonNBC) October 15, 2016
10/23/16 – Washington Redskins at Detroit Lions
Standford’s top-of-the-upright doink required careful mathematical precision that only those within the upper echelon of ingenuity (i.e. Stanford kickers) could calculate and execute. Surely a doink of that variety was once in a lifetime occurrence, right?
LOL NOPE. It happened again the very next weekend in the NFL.
10/23/16 – Arizona Cardinals vs. Seattle Seahawks
On the very same day, more big dumb football happened. Arizona doinked a 24-yard attempt that would’ve won the game for the Cardinals in overtime. Instead, Year of the Doink produced a tie, which is as dumb as big dumb football gets.
(h/t @clownouts for the image / reminding me to include this doink)
11/19/16 – Auburn vs. Alabama A&M
Animals are known for their ability to sense earthquakes before humans. Their erratic behavior is a sign of lurking danger. Auburn mascot Nova’s sudden conviction that he himself was a football is no laughing matter. He is warning us of the imminent destruction we have bestowed upon ourselves.
Auburn eagle crashes into goal post during pregame flight 🐥💥https://t.co/XWl3dVRwXX
— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) November 20, 2016
11/25/16 – Tulsa vs. Cincinnati
We can worry about our impending doom another time. For now, enjoy this DOUBLE DOINK.
There’s the double-doink Tulsa FG: pic.twitter.com/rS1xs8XvRX
— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) November 26, 2016
11/27/16 – Kansas City Chiefs at Denver Broncos
Did Year of the Doink reach its climax last night with Kansas City’s overtime WALKOFF DOINK?
This field goal killed the Broncos mascot https://t.co/SeIqWlkMbY
— Barstool Sports (@barstooltweetss) November 28, 2016
With bowl season and playoffs looming, my personal belief is that Year of the Doink is just getting started. The grand finale doink will occur as time expires in the Super Bowl with the kicking team down 1 point, leading to controversy over whether or not the field goal should have counted. You heard it here first.