With the 2017 AMS Annual Meeting in full swing, we continue our Meet the Mets series with the 5 types of people you’ve likely encountered already this week. Regardless of your role in our great scientific field of meteorology, you may easily fit into one (or more) of these categories, and if so, the thoughts running through your head during your time in Seattle probably sound something like this:

1. The Overly Obnoxious Networker

“Oooh, is that Bob? I saw on LinkedIn that he recently got promoted. That must mean a position beneath him opened up. ‘Hey Bob! Great to see you. How are things? Congrats! That’s phenomenal. Does this mean you’re hiring? Well, it was good seeing you.’ Dang. That was a waste. Hopefully someone here needs a 9-5 operational met. If not, I know Dr. Jones is here, and he has that severe weather research team I could always join. If I can meet him, he’ll recognize my application, and then I’ll for sure get the job. Oh crap, Denise is here too? I know she’s also looking for a job. I hope she doesn’t see m- ‘Hey Denise! Great to see you here! A bar meetup? Who’s going to be there? Oh, then you can count me in! You’re wanting to join what team? Hmm, well I don’t think Dr. Jones is here this year. Yeah I think he had- Excuse me for a second. Hey Dr. Jones!'”

2. The “DON’T TALK TO ME UNTIL AFTER I’VE PRESENTED!”

“Shit, it’s 11:30 already!? There is NO way I’m going to have this presentation ready for this afternoon. I guess I won’t be having lunch today. WHY does powerpoint keep changing the positioning on my text? This is a disaster. I ca- ‘Oh hey, Steve! Good to see you! I gotta ru-. Yeah, the aerosol research is going really well. I’m actually trying to wrap up a presentation on the very thing. I’ll catch up with you soo-. Yeah it’s in 2 hours. Okay see you there!’ Crap, I can’t keep running into people. I need to finis- ‘Oh hey, Janet! Great to see you! Hey let me catch up with you soo-. Oh that’s right, congratulations! Okay, I gotta go. Talk to you soon!’ Okay, I’m sneaking out this back door now. Well what do you know, an empty hallway! Alright, now let’s fix this damn formatting. I need the text about my cloud condensation nuclei parameterization to stay to the right here. Ooh, and I just know Greg is going to ask a question about this. He’s always such a thorn in my si- ‘Oh hey, Greg!’

3. The Presentation Sleeper

“Oof, I knew I shouldn’t have gone to that happy hour. Leave it to meteorologists to extend a happy hour till 1 am. There is not enough coffee in the world to help me get through this morning’s schedule of talks. Ugh, I guess I’ll sit here in the back near the urn anyway. Oh lord, what is the guy talking about? I couldn’t give a damn about carbon fluxes right now. That kind of reminds me of the time I went out to some field in the middle of nowhere to help my professor fix this flux tower, and the grass was really tall and prickly kinda like giant leg hairs but with little bugs crawling on them and OH MY GOD IS THERE A BUG ON MY LEG?” [HEAD VIOLENTLY JERKS BACK]

“Shit, was I dozing off? I hope nobody saw that. Okay, time to dig deep. I’m going to make it through this. I’m just glad there wasn’t an actual bug on my leg. I would look like an idiot trying to squish a bug in front of everyo- OH MY GOD THE BUG IS BACK!” [LOUD SNORE AS HEAD VIOLENTLY JERKS BACK AGAIN]

4. The Presentation Interrogator

“Why is everyone staring at me? I thought my question my question about dual-pol usage was totally valid. I know it’s a modeling study, but this is the type of research that can be compared to dual-pol data. It’s seriously leaps and bounds ahead of standard Doppler radar technology, and people need to realize this. You’d think that after I asked the last 2 presenters about dual-pol, this person would have something to say on the matter, but apparently everyone else is just here to socialize. I should just cut my losses and stay silent for this new presenter. Ooh this person is talking about modeling hail formation. You CAN’T discuss hail formation concepts without at least mentioning dual-pol. Okay, I’ll ask just one more question. There’s still 15 minutes left utill Q&A time?!? That will most certainly not do. ‘Um, Hi, excuse me! How does dual-pol-‘

5. The “I’m just here for the swag and drinks.”

“Good lord, this AMS tote bag is getting heavy. I knew I should’ve left it at the hotel instead of bring it to the bar. I hope all this swag fits in my carry-on suitca- ‘Oh my God, is that Laura!? Heyyheyyyyy! It’s been forever. Remember when we came to this very bar for our senior-year AMS trip? Things got OUT. OF. CONTROL. You were hysterical when you chu- Oh, are these your new work colleagues?’  Oops, that was awkward. I guess Laura won’t be going hard tonight, but I’m sure someone here wants to party. Hopefully I’m not too hungover for my poster presentation tomorrow morning. Good thing it’s the same poster as last year. Nobody’s gonna notice that, right? Oooh! Are those AtmoLife koozies!?”

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