Welcome to the Weekly Siren Test, AtmoLife’s hodgepodge of meteorological happenings helping you survive your
Monday Tuesday. Content may or may not be satire, and it is your responsibility to decipher that for yourself.
Shock waves tore through the weather community yesterday when The White House announced an executive order placing a hiring freeze on the federal government including the various NOAA branches that employ the largest portion of atmospheric scientists. While the need for for meteorologists will certainly be evaluated by the new Trump Administration, the extent of this freeze is unclear, and those in our community seeking jobs in the government sector are rightfully concerned.
To make matters worse, we at AtmoLife must reluctantly announce that we are also enacting a hiring freeze effective immediately. While no federal restrictions have been placed on our small private sector business, we have also yet to receive federal funding (or any sort of funding really). This lack of financial support is most likely due to our current business model solely involving giving away free content and koozies, but those are minor details since we wouldn’t know what to do with the money anyway.
While we still offer unpaid internships (No seriously, tell your professor you’re interning in “meteorology journalism” with us just to see if they sign off on it.) we unfortunately do not possess the means to pay you to blog with us at this point in time. We can however, offer you a free AtmoLife koozie for publishing your content on our platform, and that seems like a pretty sweet deal to me.
GROAN AREA FORECASTS
This week we learned that storms that produce 50+ tornadoes in the Deep South are referred to as “Nor’easters.”
Meteorologist are lauding the new GOES-16 photos, but they fail to mention that the visible imagery doesn’t even work half the time.
— KMIR News (@KMIRNews) January 23, 2017
Floating down a flooded roadway on a duck raft while drinkin’ a beer certainly looks fun, but AtmoLife cannot condone such fowl weather activities. Floods like this have the capability to poultries right out of the ground so we muscovy careful in these situations. Flood waters can quackly rise to dangerous levels and the bill for a mistake could be your life. This is no daffyng matter.
We’re pleasantly surprised at the success of last night’s #wxtwitter meetup. We assumed everyone would be on their phones the whole time.
— Nick Lilja (@NickLilja) January 24, 2017
Guys, that’s not cool. We don’t know if these people thought the drinks were covered or if they had a few too many and just forgot, but until they pay back their tabs, we can only assume this is the work of the cursing police.
2. Mini thermometers/other pocket-sized weather instruments
3. Stress balls. Lots and lots of stress balls.
4. Bottle openers (liquid stress balls imo)
5. Window decals
7. T-shirts (ranked lower than hats because the hat will probably fit you)
89. Keychains. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NOBODY WANTS YOUR KEYCHAIN.
HYPE PREDICTION OF THE WEEK
We’re intentionally leaving this section blank this week for two reasons:
- In our opinion, Sunday’s high risk issued by the SPC was by no means a bust (more on that later).
- I didn’t look hard enough to find an over-hyped forecast elsewhere. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ATMOLIFE MS PAINT FORECAST
WEEKLY INSTAGRAM CONTEST
Each week, AtmoLife asks our followers to post a challenge response photo/video to Instagram and tag our Instagram account (atmolife) in it.
Last week’s challenge: Tag atmolife in a new Instagram photo/video of a pretty sunset. We received lots of great responses and wound up with 2 winners and an extra honorable mention!
Here are the winners:
Congrats, monsoonchaser and wxbeck! You both win a free AtmoLife koozie and 3 AtmoCup points for your schools!
As for the honorable mention, this might’ve been an outright winner had it been submitted before our 12z Monday deadline.
But worry not, brandonmaster3 of North Carolina State. Your school has racked up plenty of AtmoCup points lately, which we’ll discuss in our weekly update on Friday.
This week’s challenge: Tag atmolife on instagram in a new photo/video of you #DrinkingWithMets. Those of you at the Annual meeting will likely have several good opportunities!
I sadly don’t have an example this week. When I drink with mets, there’s usually someone who’d be better off if the photos taken remain unpublished. (it me)
The winning responder will again earn a free AtmoLife koozie and 3 AtmoCup points for their school. We’ll announce the winner in next week’s Siren Test, so be sure to submit your Instagram posts by 12Z Monday!
And pay your damn tab!