Holy shit, it’s 1 AM already? I’m not even halfway through the material yet. There’s no way I’m going to be able to study all this in time. What kind of sadist schedules a midterm at 7 AM anyway? Not only that, but February 2nd is wayyyy too early for a midterm. We’ve been in class this semester for what, like 2 and a half weeks? And we all spent last week getting blacked out in Seattle for our Senior AMS trip. He seriously expects us to read the week’s worth of lectures he emailed us while we were away? This is 100% him punishing us for the department funding our trip instead of one of his stupid research projects.

[SIGH] It is what it is though. I just need to pass, so If I can get through maybe…3 quarters of this material, I’ll probably have a good shot. To keep going however, I’m gonna need another Red Bull. My doc says these things will kill me, being a rodent and all, but I’ve put worse things in my body lately and I still feel okay.

So let’s see, what’s this first lecture he emailed us about? The quasi-geostrophic equations? What the hell does this have to do with forecasting? Oh my God! Am I going to be asked to derive this? Welp, that’s it. I guess I’m failing this class. I knew I should’ve just gone into broadcast journalism. I know that would limit me to on-air meteorology jobs, but at least then I wouldn’t need to deal with all this useless math nonsense.

[SEVERAL HOURS LATER]

Okay, I think I get what these equations are saying. The partial derivative of the thermal wind with respect to the vorticity advects with the coriolis force which is equal to this cactus looking symbol. Wait? That’s not right. This cactus symbol is from the streamline equations in the next chapter. What’s the name of that Greek letter anyway? And where the hell did my Red Bull go!? God, I’m losing it. Maybe it’s inside this cactus over here. Boy, I sure don’t remember cacti like this in Pennsylvania. I wonder if our Climo professor knows about this. She’d be really interested in seeing -Oh hey, she’s here! Hi Dr. Summers! Hello? Dr. Summers can you hear me? [LOUD KNOCKING] Oh my God! You just knocked on that cactus! Those spines have to hurt like hell! [LOUD KNOCKING] Stop that, Dr. Summers! You’re going to seriously injure your hand. Is that my red bull? You found my red bull! Thank you Dr. Su-

[LOUD KNOCKING]

Oh shit I fell asleep! Shit shit shit shit shit. What time is it? 7 already!? Oh my God, my exam is NOW! I need to-

[LOUD KNOCKING]

Wait, who’s at the door?

OH MY GOD! I’M BEING ABDUCTED. HELP! HELLLLLP! WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? MY DAD IS GONNA GO LIAM NEESON ON YOUR ASSES! WAIT, PROFESSOR? WHY ARE YOU DRAGGING ME OUT OF MY HOME? ARE WE A GODDAM MILITARY SCHOOL ALL OF A SUDDEN OR IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK INITIATION? I’M SORRY I’M LATE! PLEASE DON’T HURT ME! WHO THE HELL ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE STANDING AROUND WITH CAMERAS? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

That’s it?

You literally only want to know how much winter is left?

I pulled an all-nighter just to answer 1 fucking question in front of all these idiots?

This is Pennsylvania. Of course there’s gonna be 6 more weeks of winter.

Fuck you all. I’m going to bed.

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