Welcome to the Weekly Siren Test, AtmoLife’s hodgepodge of meteorological happenings helping you survive your Tuesday. Content may or may not be satire, and it is your responsibility to decipher that for yourself.
The storm chasing community lost one of its heroes this past weekend. Bill Paxton, who is best known among meteorologists for his lead role as Bill Harding in Twister, passed away over the weekend due to surgery complications. He was 61.
Many of us who storm chase or have careers in meteorology today have Bill Paxton to thank for this. It was his role in Twister that inspired so many of us to pursue “the wonder of nature” as his sidekick Phillip Seymour Hoffman AKA “Dusty” described it (We miss you too, PSH!). While we also adore Dusty and the other kooky, alarmingly-relatable weather weenies in the film, everyone wanted to be Bill Harding.
Bill Paxton, via Bill Harding, conveyed not only a deep, genuine passion for tornadoes that we all identify with but also a profound intuition of the storm that we all strive to possess. This passion stems from Bill Paxton’s real-life enthusiasm for extreme weather. The Ft. Worth native was no stranger to severe storms during his upbringing, and his self-described “primordial fascination for tornadoes” seamlessly manifested itself into Bill Harding. As for the intuition, we may never be able to determine the path of a future tornado by shaking up the dirt like Bill Harding could, but we still recognize the necessity of human instinct in a scientific field that’s gradually becoming more dominated by computer models and other fancy gadgets.
Long after Twister, Bill continued to project his tornadic enthusiasm that inspired us all, this time as the narrator for Tornado Alley, because like all of us in Atmospheric Science, our work is never truly complete.
— CNN (@CNN) February 28, 2017
This touching Spotter Network tribute makes apparent just how inspirational Bill was to us all. While most of us never got to know “the nicest man in show business,” he was a dear friend to our science, and those of us in the meteorology community will miss him as such.
GROAN AREA FORECASTS
No Groan Area Forecasts Today. Just a moment of internet silence for Bill.
BILL HARDING TWISTER QUOTES POWER RANKINGS
1. Jo: “Another cow!” Bill: “Actually, I think that was the same one.”
2. Bill: “Not naked! I was not naked”! Beltzer: “He was without apparel.” Bill: “Half naked.”
3. Bill: “Dusty, why don’t you explain to Melissa… why you’re the way you are.”
4. Bill: “I am. I am happy. I’m a happy person. I’m happy with my life. I’m happy with the way things are going in my life. I’m happy with… with…” Jo: “Melissa?” Bill: “I know her name! Yes. I’m happy… with… Melissa!”
5. Bill: “It’s the Fujita scale. It measures a tornado’s intensity by how much it eats.”
6. Bill: “Jonas Miller. He’s a nightcrawler. We all started out working in the same lab, but Jonas went out and got some corporate sponsors. He’s in it for the money not the science. He has a lot of high tech gadgets, but he doesn’t have any instinct, and he doesn’t have Dorothy.”
7. Bill: “You stole my design, you son of a bitch.”
8. Dusty: “The extreme! It’s the extreme!” Bill: “Oh, man. Don’t start that shit.”
9. Bill: “Why can’t we spend a normal day together?”
10. Bill: “The brush, a brick wall, a bearded lady, what?” Rabbit: “Oh, um… it’s the highway, it’s the highway.”
HYPE PREDICTION OF THE WEEK
This tweet has the power of 100s of nuclear bombs. 🔥🔥🔥
And yes, space rocks being dropped from the moon to destroy the earth is technically a weather prediction.
As we’ve mentioned in previous weeks, If you see someone post an absurd weather forecast on twitter/facebook/wherever, please bring it to our attention because this is a section dedicated to poking fun at when people produce such sincere sensationalist garbage. If we use the ridiculously hyped forecast that you have pointed out, we’ll be sure to credit you and award your school with an AtmoCup bonus point!
ATMOLIFE MS PAINT FORECAST
WEEKLY INSTAGRAM CONTEST
Each week, AtmoLife asks our followers to post a challenge response photo/video to Instagram and tag our Instagram account (atmolife) in it.
Last week’s challenge: Tag AtmoLife in a photo/video of the coolest non-tornado thing you’ve seen on a storm chase.
Here is last week’s winner:
Congrats to brandonmasters3 of NC State [yawn] for the sweet shelfie. You win a free AtmoLife koozie and 3 AtmoCup points for your school.
Did we mention that NADER WEEK IS NEXT WEEK? With that in mind, let’s upgrade from these non-tornadic storms of last week’s challenge.
This week’s challenge: Upload to Instagram a new picture/video of any tornado you’ve seen and tag AtmoLife in it. The tornado doesn’t need to be new, but the Instagram post does, and it’s gotta be a picture/video that you captured!
Here is our example:
THIS WEEK'S INSTAGRAM CHALLENGE: Upload a new picture/video *that you captured* of any tornado to Instagram and tag us in it. Here's our example of a Kansas landspout with terrible lighting than you can surely do better than. Winner gets an AtmoLife koozie and 3 #AtmoCup2017 points for their school, and THIS WEEK ONLY: all participants earn 1 AtmoCup point for their school.
(Jesus, is this really the best tornado picture I have? I really need to get out and storm chase more. Don’t move to New Jersey, kids.)
As a SPECIAL NADER WEEK BONUS: All participants will earn 1 AtmoCup point for their school so long as their Instagram posts meet the criteria described above.
And as always, the winning responder will earn a free AtmoLife koozie and 3 AtmoCup points for their school. We’ll announce the winner in next week’s Siren Test, so be sure to submit your Instagram posts by 12Z Tuesday!