Yesterday in a GroupMe chat, my friends from the NYC area where I used to live were throwing all kinds of grief my way regarding the lack of snow from the ongoing nor’easter. I told them simply to be safe out there, and in return received Category 3 internet backlash (Holthaus Scale).

Look at the ratio of favorites. I was getting absolutely massacred.

Im not owned! Actualley laughing!!1!

I tried to counter with the “just you wait” approach, but that continued to backfire as the event was late in its transition from rain to snow. Unlike the snow, the jokes piled on.

Stop! I’m already dead!

When a forecast busts like this, it not only impacts the meteorologists who made the prediction, but also you, the meteorologist living hundreds of miles away with no involvement other than your idiotic “Godspeed!” comment. With your credibility in shambles, do not fall for the trap of explaining why the forecast busted. Instead, challenge their reading comprehension and resourcefulness.

[Note: Do NOT attempt the following roasting techniques with your general public audience. The following methods are to be used on friends and family only.]

Tell your friends they’re looking at the wrong source.

Despite having you as a knowledgeable weather resource, your friends maddeningly check elsewhere for that information. They love checking their default iPhone weather app, which seemingly on purpose, provides as little context as possible in their forecasts. This is probably because Steve Jobs wanted to be a meteorologist but couldn’t do the math or something.

Regardless of where your friends get their weather information, their source is always “they” as in “they said it was going to _____ today.” Probe them about who “they” is, and let them know that “they” is a clown, and your friends instead should be looking at the forecasts from the more credible “they.” In yesterday’s case, I was informed that my friends’ “they” consisting of local TV mets, TWC, and Wunderground had predicted snow to begin falling hours ago. I countered by metsplaining how my “they,” The National Weather Service, said all along that plenty of rain would occur before switching to frozen precipitation.

My friends will never know that the NWS was also predicting snowfall much earlier.

Better yet, tell them the best “they” is you. Have them come to you for the difficult weather forecasts. Your friends will always forget this offer, so you don’t have to worry about them calling your bluff.

Hit ’em hard when the “just you wait” approach pays dividends.

Sometimes, beautiful things happen in this world, and most of the time, that beautiful thing is thundersnow. Suddenly, my “Godspeed” remarks had merit, and I let them know by deploying the best gif in existence.

Scotty does know, IMO.

Did the snowfall totals still underwhelm the forecasted amount by at least 6 inches? Shhh, you don’t need to remind them.┬áIf your friends are capable of thinking you’re wrong even when you’re right, then you can sure as hell flip the script and make them believe you when you’re full of shit.

Drop some scientific knowledge bombs on them.

When nature gets a little crazy, the conversation will often shift from the forecast itself to the science behind it. Since conceptual knowledge typically isn’t capable of busting, this is your time to shine. Try to keep your explanations simple while arrogantly alluding that there’s more to it beyond their scientific understanding.

there*

Worst case, you’ve covered your ass. Best case, they’ll think twice before giving you shit about the weather next time. Don’t get me wrong, your friends WILL still give you shit because that’s what friends are for, but at least you know they’re now self-conscious about receiving backlash of their own.

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